That's how you start a song.

This came out in 2024, not 1996.

A million years ago, I was at the door of an Eagles Lodge paying to get into a show, and the dude running the door just like half shouted, "Ugh is someone wearing cologne?" He looked directly at me, and I very sarcastically said, "Yeah, I absolutely wore cologne to the show." He looked at the other dude running the door and said, "Of course it would be the guy in the Empire State Games shirt."

Midwest emo with Touche Amore style vocals?

Indie rock Portishead.
Bandcamp.

That moment in late 90s emo, when bands started getting a little poppier, but before The Promise Ring went full Electric Pink. Thats The Ritornello Form.

One of the guys from Sunn0))) making the type of music you would expect, but it is all inspired by Bernard Herrmann, the composer behind movies like Vertigo, Psycho, Cape Fear, and Citizen Kane.

Heavy and soft at the same time?

This song is better than anything else this band has released.

Dark, noisy drone.

NIMB stands for "No Input Mixing Board," meaning this was created with no sound input of any kind. The "music" is made by manipulating the feedback of plugging the mixing board into itself. There are pedals and effects, but nothing that is intended to produce sound.

I could have sworn I've posted this band before, but I guess. not.
Absolute ripper from dudes who used to be in bands like Reversal of Man and Combatwoundedveteran.
Bandcamp.